Christmas is quickly rolling in with 2020 starting to take shape in the rear view mirror. It’s a strange Christmas this year, we can’t be with the people we love for fear of spreading the virus. So we immediately start to problem solve how to make this up to our kids, friends, family…delete as appropriate. Our inner voice is saying “we should do ……….?” ‘ we should be …..?”
We spend most of our lives climbing the ladder of success, whether it be in career/profession/life/ social circles etc. Our endeavours mean that we are constantly being judged and examined by our peers our parents our friends our bosses, and on occasion we are all found lacking. Is it any wonder we are so worried about what other people think of us that we can’t see what it is that we need anymore for fear of letting someone else down.
The above idea is not mine specifically, while I see it every day in my coaching practice this particular perspective comes from the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu in their book of Joy. Are we forgetting to take care of our most basic needs because of this “should feeling”, are we comparing ourselves to others and finding ourselves less than we would like. Are we allowing our inner critic to spring into action.
Take a moment this year and be kind to yourself, realise that when we feel inferior it is not unique, all people feel this feeling sometimes, when we feel less than, we are not alone it is all around us. In Fact the feeling that is less prevalent is that of generosity to ourselves. We will be generous to others we will help our friends and neighbours and when is comes to ourselves there seems to be a different standard. As the Dalai Lama says, “when we see a friend being crushed by a rock, we don’t get under there with them, we try to find a way of getting the rock off them”. In other words we are not trying to experience their sadness or distress, rather we are trying to find a way of removing that sadness and distress. Ask yourself this Christmas, what do I need to do to be a better friend to myself.
Merry Christmas to all.
OrlaCahill Transformational Coach.
Career Coach, Confidence Coach, Life Coach, Helping women return to work, helping career changers, helping women in the workplace.