Does confidence come from positive self-image, or is it the other way around?
One of the most significant challenges of the modern day is confidence and how to get. The absence of confidence is the brick wall we come up against, which stops us from realizing our potential and often our happiness and self-worth.
As a Life Coach, I recognize that a lack of self-confidence is quite often if not always the underlying reason for most of my client’s struggles. The question is still how do I build up my confidence? Can we interchange the word confidence with resilience, if we had more confidence, would we be more resilient?
Joan Rosenberg, Psychologist and TEDx speaker, suggests that there are tools we can use and practice to build up our confidence. Joan sites the following 4 practices we can do daily to build up our confidence.
- allow yourself to experience the full range of feelings. Often we do not let ourselves to do this, we stop when it becomes difficult or scary. So if we are starting at shame, maybe we don’t go as far as vulnerability or embarrassment, Joan says we should. It is just a feeling after all…. Right!
- The second way is to present ourselves as positive, kind and well-intentioned. Maybe you are thinking you already do this, if so, what are you noticing?
- The third and this is one that will resonate with a lot of people, take action, even if you don’t feel like it, another way of putting this is “fake it till you make it”, my words not hers. It’s all about practice if we keep doing the things we think we can’t do; eventually, that thought process will change, and we will grow, and so will our confidence.
- And finally and this is a conversation which often comes up in coaching, accept a compliment. How often do we get a compliment and shun it, make an excuse or undervalue it? In the same breath, how often do we chastise ourselves for not being good enough, or not reaching perfection, whether it is at work, at home, as a mum as a sister as a daughter? I think we all know the answer.
If you are struggling with your confidence or your resilience in the workplace or your poor self-image, get in touch for details on how coaching can help.